What goes on behind closed doors…

I thought it would be fun to share some of the funny and most memorable experiences I have had with Wilde About Tan over the last couple of years, omitting all names of course!

Every day I walk into different situations, homes, meet different families and I enjoy it all immensely. I get a lot of kitchen envy presently because we are looking to change our own at home, and it has been known that some clients take me into their kitchen for a look around while we discuss granite over quartz worktops (…when you know you are getting old!) .

Aside from that, there are just some moments I will never forget – which is amazing because my memory is truly shocking.

  • Very recently, I met my client on a Sunday at her place of work rather than her home (her family were staying and wherever I pop my tent, that’s my home 😉 ). She had spraytan’s in the past and was mostly prepared for me, but she was getting the Spraytan for her Summer Holidays and had worn a black playsuit for afterwards. The only problem with the playsuit was that it was elasticated at the waist and she (and I) didn’t want anything to potentially ruin her gorgeous tan, SO she ended up wearing the bottoms to where her pants clung and thankfully I had a change of t-shirt with me that day, so I stripped off my own loose dark t-shirt for her to wear! That’s the first time I ever had to strip at an appointment! Hehe.
  • At a loyal clients house (who soon became a bestie after her first tan 2 years ago), her gorgeous baby girl had taken to crying during every tan because of the noise/not being able to get to mummy. On this occasion I had to scoop her up in one arm (she is a beautifully healthy little girl), whilst I tanned her mum with the other. She babbled to me the whole time and stopped crying completely. So when I suggest I can tan with one hand tied behind my back….
  • Another recent classic was at a Spray Tan Party for a group of bridal girlies. Some had never been sprayed before and had received hints and tips from their friends. When one lady walked into the kitchen with a plastic bag tied around her head in a Rambo stylie, the only thing I could say was “what the hell…!?.” before I burst out laughing. Granted, it wasn’t the most professional I have ever been but it was really funny. I had to assure the lovely lady that I always bring all the accessories she needs for the process.
  • Years ago I was tanning a prom girl for the first time and as usual I was directing her in her poses to make sure of a thorough process. I always tan the body twice, but the last move after round 1 is ‘Pray’. I ask you to put your hands in a prayer position. This particular girl thought I was asking her to actually stop the tan and pray with me! “what, now!???” she exclaimed with a stunned face. After I assured her it was just the position I needed she giggled away, I couldn’t stop smirking for the rest of the tan and haven’t forgotten it to this day.
  • After finishing one tan, I bent down to remove the girls sticky feet, she was chatting to me so I didn’t want to interrupt by giving an instruction to hold onto her kitchen sideboard, so I just tapped it with my hand when she gave me eye contact. Instead of holding it, she actually swung her leg up to the cabinet instead!!! That girl was flexible! Hilarious.
  • I would say that over 90% of my clients have pets who really want to say “hi” to me on my arrival (good job I LOVE animals). The thing about little dogs and pups though is that they really want to investigate my kit, and generally need my constant attention – even whilst tanning! I have had the pleasure of puppies nibbling my ankles when standing and hands when I’m bending lower. One even gave a little lick of my lower back/builders bum one day! Eek!!! (longer t-shirt quickly invested in!)
  • As I’ve mentioned in previous blogs, I get a lot of warnings from ladies pre-spraytan about their bodies and perceived flaws, which I have come to expect now. One day I was at a lovely clients house who I tan fairly regularly. She is a lady who likes to keep her eyes closed the entire time because, I assume, she feels if she can’t see me, I can’t see her. I was half way through the tan and suddenly out of nowhere she said “So…the diet didn’t work”. Bless her, believe me when I say, what YOU are thinking is not what I am thinking when I am tanning you.
  • I tend to start tanning quite early in the morning, till very late…I often forget to grab some breakfast or lunch and leave very little time for myself to pick anything up en-route. I was tanning in Derby one morning and just before I was about to start spraying my belly rumbled so loudly that my lovely client and friend heard it. She couldn’t bear to have me working hungry, so off she todlled in her half naked state to make me some toast to eat. I was watching in surprise and thinking – this really would be any man’s dream job! Hahaha.